


Beyond the Shore

by Theatre_In_The_Dark



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26425108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theatre_In_The_Dark/pseuds/Theatre_In_The_Dark
Summary: This topic was a challenge for me. Beyond the Sea is my favorite episode.  Has been since it aired.  I really wanted to the episode and the topic justice.  I hope I did.I also cannot thank @AnnieAmi and @Sarie_Fairy for their Beta work.  Your suggestions and help really got me over the hump of things.  Thank you!Also want to give a shout to AATHS_TWICE for catching my more freaudian slip of an error after it was posted.
Relationships: Fox Mulder & Dana Scully
Comments: 13
Kudos: 34
Collections: X-Files Episode Fanfic Exchange (2020)





	Beyond the Shore

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FictionPenned](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FictionPenned/gifts).



> This topic was a challenge for me. Beyond the Sea is my favorite episode. Has been since it aired. I really wanted to the episode and the topic justice. I hope I did. 
> 
> I also cannot thank @AnnieAmi and @Sarie_Fairy for their Beta work. Your suggestions and help really got me over the hump of things. Thank you!
> 
> Also want to give a shout to AATHS_TWICE for catching my more freaudian slip of an error after it was posted.

It had been a week since Boggs had died and two weeks since her father. Scully had been in a fog ever since. 

Starbuck trying to learn to live without Ahab. 

Scully had decided to take the bereavement leave she was due while Mulder recovered in a Carolina Hospital. She’d had sleepless nights. When she did chance to sleep, her dreams were filled with ghosts. She was still trying to come to terms with what it all meant. Her scientific mind wanted to keep rationalizing the events of the past two weeks. But her heart, well that was a lot harder. 

Scully picked up the phone many times to call her mom, or siblings, but would hang up before the first ring. She could not bring herself to hear the sadness in her mom’s voice, or the gruff in Bills. Missy would listen to her, she knew, but would be too excited to take Dana in a direction of spiritualism that she was not wanting to go. And Charlie, would he even answer? Scully and Charlie had always been very close. But the last few years, since his marriage to Michelle, he had changed. He had pulled more away from the family, preferring to spend holidays with Michelle’s family instead. Marriage did sometimes change a person, and you had to do what was best for your spouse, she supposed. 

Scully sat on her couch, a fire going and a hot mug of tea in her hand. Trying to reread Moby Dick, she wanted to feel connected to her father. Having trouble concentrating, she set the book down. Multiple thoughts running through her head, the one that stood out the clearest was that she wanted to be like Mulder and to believe that her father had come to her. Mulder would have believed, if it was him. Would have seen the signs and made the connections. He would have known with certainty, that someone had come to visit him. She wanted to believe that so badly. She wanted to think her father had been there to tell her goodbye; even if that meant he spoke through a serial killer. 

Glancing at the clock, she wiped the tears from her face and hurried to grab her keys and get out the door. Mulder was flying home today and she had offered to get him from the airport and help him get settled.  
¬¬------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Mulder you know you really should get a bed. It would be better for your back, not to mention all the hospital recovery you seem to do” Scully said walking in and placing his bag in the living room as Mulder hobbled on his crutches to the couch. 

“Scully, don’t let her hear you say such things” Mulder said petting the leather cushions next to him.

A slow smirk graced Scully’s face. Mulder relished in those moments he could make her smile. 

“So, Mulder do you need anything? They sent you home with meds, right?” Scully asked him, hoovering by his couch. She felt out of place in his apartment, it was almost like a sacred ground that she had not been invited into. She felt close to Mulder but there was still so much about him she did now know or understand. His presence at times was frightening. She felt so young and naive next to him, he was intimidating in size and intelligence. 

“Yes, Doc I am good to go,” he said lowering himself onto the couch, “desk duty for the next month.”

“Ok well I am going to take off so you can rest. “ she said turning to head towards the door, “call me if you need anything.” She felt an overwhelming urge to get out. She knew he would eventually be asking her about Boggs, about her report, what she had said. 

“Scully wait.” Mulder called from the couch, hoping to stop her before she reached the door, “I was actually thinking maybe we could order some delivery, watch the game.”

“Excuse me Mulder?” No Scully thought, I can’t do this now. 

“Eat, you know food, sustenance. I am sure they taught you about such things in medical school,” he said teased.

“Yes, Mulder I know the benefits of food. I am not sure the places you get delivery from meet those qualifications though. And you do need to rest.” Scully responded while thinking this man, how can he get me to agree to things I know I should say no to. I should be walking out of here, going home, to safety. 

“Scully, I have been resting for a week in the hospital. With no one to talk to. Come on Scully…” Mulder said with that little boy pout that had her dropping everything to chase monsters in the dark.

“Fine Mulder,” she acquiescenced, slipping her shoes off and grabbing the phone and take out menus. I should have said no, she thought to herself while sinking down into the couch. 

Two hours later they had eaten their fill of Chinese and the second game was starting. Mulder was sitting on the couch watching the game, Scully, next to him, was leaning back with her eyes closed listening to the sounds of the TV and Mulders fish tank gurgling. She winced internally; the gurgling of the tank was the same frightening sound Mulder’s lungs had made after he was shot. Blood filling his throat and lungs. 

“Scully….”

Scully jerked her head up, hoping Mulder had not caught her flinching. Willing him not to ask her about her Father, about Boggs. 

“Yea Mulder.”

“I have been wondering about something. When I was in the hospital, I had a lot of time to think. I, um, I was wondering if you could tell me about your experience?”

“I am not sure what you mean Mulder.” I can play this cool Scully thought, science can keep me safe in denial. She was determined not to reveal the cracks that formed during this case. 

“With your father and Boggs. We have been through so much since you joined the X-Files and I just want, need, to know what made this different for you.”

“I don’t know Mulder,” Scully said, trying her hardest to keep any emotion out of her voice. Just deny, she told herself. 

Scully shifted on the couch and turned to face Mulder. Took a deep breath. She contemplated telling Mulder about something from her childhood. It was an experience she had wrestled with most of her life. Even more since joining the X-Files. 

April 1973

“Dana listen to your grandmother tonight ok” Maggie Scully hollered as a lively 8 year old with bouncing red curls ran towards the Ford parked in front of the modest military house.  
“I will Mom” Dana yelled back.  
Later after a day full of making cookies and learning to crochet Dana settled into sleep in her Grandmothers guest room. 

“No, I can’t breathe, help, help.” Gasping sounds filled the bedroom.  
“Baby it’s ok, Grandma is here, you are fine Dana. Wake up.”  
Dana’s eyes bolted open and she grabbed her grandmother crying.  
“Missy. She can’t breathe, Grandma. She can’t. “  
“Dana I am sure Missy is fine. Its late, lets try to go back to sleep.”  
“No, please call Mommy, please. I know Missy isnt ok.”

“Mom it’s nothing like that. Please stop trying to fill Dana head with those things. Those are things from the old country. Myths”  
“Maggie, she knew about Missy.”  
“Dana had a nightmare. Missy has allergies, she has had reactions before. This wasn’t the first time. It was just a dream. Mom please stop. “  
“Maggie, just because you do not understand it doesn’t mean that it is not happening to her. You said yourself she had a dream about that Sunday school teacher dying before he was Murdered.”  
Maggie placed her head in her hands and let out a long sigh.

PRESENT 

“Scully…”  
“Sorry Mulder I was just thinking.” Scully took a deep breath, its now or never, she thought. Just tell him. “Mulder did you know my Grandmother, on my Moms side, thought I could sense things”

Mulder’s mouth fell open. “No Scully I did not. I mean from what I have heard about your sister I could see that more from her then you.”

“From when I was about 8 until about 12 I had these vivid nightmares. My mom thought that was all it was. Her and my grandmother had a fight over it. My Mom had her hands full; 4 little kids, my dad was gone for months at a time.” Scully shifted in her seat, worrying her bottom lip. She turned her body away from Mulder. 

“So I am guessing these dreams are related to events that would come to happen?”

“Yes, although my Mom always thought it was a coincidence. That I had heard or seen something that would relate to the situation.”

“And what about you Scully, what do you think?”

“I was a kid Mulder, I just knew I was scared most of the time from the dreams. I had one where Missy could not breath and I felt it-Mulder so clearly-I can still remember feeling like I could not take a breath in. The constriction, the panic.”

Mulder shifts, trying to catch Scully’s eyes, “that must have been very scary.”

“But, I think my Mom was right. Missy had an allergic reaction, it was why she could not breath, she had them before also. We shared a room. I had seen the reactions before.”

“So that’s where you get it from uh Scully?”

Scully tried to keep her demeanor cool. “What do you mean Mulder?”

“The skepticism, it’s from your Mom.”

“My Mother, was, is a realist Mulder. And yes, I do share some similar viewpoints as her.”

Scully took a long drink of her iced tea. Mulder sat silently on the couch, worried that if he spoke the moment would be broken. Scully could close up faster than a pill bug. He knew that this, her sharing and opening up, was a big milestone in their partnership. He had to keep himself in check, let her go at her own pace. 

“When Boggs said the comments about me smoking, stealing my moms cigarettes, it just brought everything back for some reason. All those feelings and emotions. During those years I would be scared to fall asleep Mulder. I would try to stay awake, I would have panic attacks as bedtime drew near. My mom was beside herself, she was too busy too deal with my issues. So I slowly learned to push it all down. And then one day the dreams stopped. ” 

“Scully, you know as well as I do that sometimes the subconsciousness can pick up on things. We sense what is going on around us. It comes across in our minds as a dream or a vision. I think your Grandmother was right to an extent. I think you are sensitive to those things around you.”

“Mulder…”

“No Scully, listen to me. You can call it whatever you want. A gift, second sight, precognition. But sometimes you are just more tuned into things. It’s how you found the location based on what Boggs told you. It’s what makes you such a good agent and doctor. While I do not believe in Boggs, I believe in you Scully.”

They were both silent for a while. Scully trying to take in all Mulder was saying. Mulder scared to death that a breath would make her run for the door.

“Scully, I think your desire for it to go away did exactly that. You tapped into it somehow and you pushed it deep down inside yourself till it was gone. Maybe this case, your work on the X-Files, has allowed you to feel safe to explore that side of you Scully.”

“Mulder I’m not sure what to believe. I don’t know why I believed in him. But, I wanted to believe. If there was one chance, I could speak to my father again,” she swallowed the lump that was in her throat, willing herself not to cry, “I wanted that so bad. “

Mulder took a beat and then said. 

“Scully, I understand I do. Don’t forget I have taken leaps and chances myself. If I could speak to Samantha again…. I don’t know what I would do. Even though I know in my heart Boggs is a liar and a killer, if he said Samantha was speaking through him….I like to think I would have seen through him but realistically I know I would have done whatever he asked to speak to her.”

“How do you deal with the disappointment?” Scully asked, a tear running down her face. 

“You just do Scully. You keep on going. You keep searching for the truth. And you know that you love them and they love you.”

Scully hung her head and starts to cry. “I’m sorry Mulder.”

Shifting closer to her on the couch, he wraps his arms around her. “It’s ok. Let it out.”

“I wanted to believe my father was there. I so badly wanted to speak to him again. But…”

“But what Scully?” He coaxes her while rubbing small gental circles on her back. 

“That belief goes against everything I know to be true,” she looks straight ahead, knowing if she were to look at Mulder she would lose all resolve she had left, “ It goes against the science. It goes against me, who I am.”

“Scully, I want you to be open. I need you to be open to extreme possibilities. But not through Boggs. He is a scam, a fake. I don’t want to discount what you experienced. But, please do not shut that part of you off because of Boggs. You being open to speaking to your father is not you being something you aren’t Scully. It is a part of you. You are greater than the science Scully. And you sure as hell are greater than anything Boggs could think he knows about you.”

They sit in silence. Scully wipes the tears from her face. Minutes pass or maybe it’s hours. Scully could really not be sure. She was exhausted. This case, her father’s death, it had taken everything out of her. She leaned her head back and was almost asleep when she heard Mulder start to speak again. 

“A Doctor should be skeptical of one condition being the actual cause of another condition a patient presents with. Drawing conclusions about the cause of a diagnosis can lead to illusory correlation.”

Scully turns her head to look at Mulder, a look of perplexed confusion passing over her face.

“Something I read once, about how Doctors should have a dose of skepticism about their cases. It is something I often think of in correlation with you Scully. You are so rigid in your science, but at the same time you are a Doctor and you know there is not always one answer.”

“Mulder, being a Doctor and considering multiple outcomes for an illness is not the same as believing in alien viruses and Bigfoot. “

“How is it not Scully? It is all about having an open mind and not closing yourself off to any possibility.”

Scully sat back up straighter now, “Mulder…”

“No, Scully hear me out. Your medical background and my studies of the paranormal are not really that different. In my case I have a belief and I am searching for the clues to prove that belief. In your case of medicine, you are looking for the cause of a condition. We are both just trying to connect A to B to C.”

“Mul…” Scully stopped and shook her head and smiled. How could this man take all the complexities of how she was feeling and break it down into something as simple as A+B=C. 

“Ah I have rendered Special Agent Doctor Dana Scully speechless, my work here tonight is done”

Mulder turned the game back up and they sat in silence for a bit. Scully leaned her head over on Mulders shoulder. Mulder briefly stiffened, shocked by her openness to touch him. 

“Thank you, Mulder” Scully whispered. 

Mulder smiled. They sat like that for a few more minutes. Scully’s head resting on Mulders shoulder. Soon he could tell she had fallen asleep as her breathing evened out. He turned his head and pressed a light kiss on the top of her head. 

“Anytime Scully” he whispered. As Mulder leaned his own head back he thought that maybe this partnership was going to work out after all. And maybe, just maybe a friendship would be born as well.

**Author's Note:**

> Topic: Post Episode fic! This episode is the first time we get a Mulder and Scully role reversal, so I'd really love to see a fic that examines the inherent vulnerability that comes alongside both grief and change, and surprise of them realizing how thoroughly they swapped positions once the case ends and the emotional fallout of the episode begins to settle. Is there hesitation that proceeds a deepening understanding of each other? Is there open acknowledgement of their own flaws and inconsistencies? What does it mean for Scully to need to NOT believe as desperately as Mulder needs to believe? How do they reconcile that between them? Do they worry that the balance that they began to establish in their early working relationship has been permanently upended? So many questions worth exploring that become foundational to their dynamic


End file.
